


How I Met Your Mother ; Teen Wolf AU

by holymalia



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holymalia/pseuds/holymalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kids, I'm going to tell you this incredible story, <br/>the story of how I met your mother."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off the show how i met your mother !  
> hope you enjoy <3

= IN 2020 =

Scott sits on the couch, looking at his son and daughter. Amelia, and Weston. Scott wants to tell them something important, a story of how he met his wife. Their mother. He would always occasionally bring it up, but they really never knew - more or less, pay attention.

"Kids, I'm going to tell you the day I met you mother," he pronounced, arms folded, leaning on the couch.

"Heard it," Amelia yawned, totally bored with it already.

"Dad - you told us already, though?" Weston added giving him a confused look, however had a bored tone to his voice.

"Sure, whatever. Doubt you listened to that, however, it was the short version. But there's a bigger story and it's important for you to hear it," Scott argued sternly looking at both of his kids.

"Are you sure, we aren't being punished for anything?" Weston gulped chuckling at his father.

"No," He hummed sternly - once again.

"Is this gonna take a while," Amelia mumbled looking at her phone, yawning again.

"Yep," Scott said taking a pause, then continuing.

"Once upon a time, before I was 'Dad' I had this whole other life. It was way back in 2005. I was single, I had a full head of hair, my career as an architect was taking off, and I lived in New York City with Stiles, my best friend from old times. Life was good, until one brisk October night. When Uncle Stiles screwed the whole thing up."

= BACK IN 2007 =

"Will you marry me?" Stiles laughed on a bended knee, presenting Scott the ring.

"Perfect! And then she says yes, you're engaged, you pop the champagne, drink a toast, have sex on the kitchen floor." Scott jested showing his best friend a huge smile.

"Wait, don't have sex on the kitchen floor - just do it in the bed, for once please," Scott reasoned remembering the times he accidently walked in on them everywhere in the apartment, except the bedroom.

"I can't believe I am gonna be engaged to Lydia Martin!" Stiles hollered fist pumping the air, smiling at Scott.

"You never know, she may say no. Still think she is not into you," Scott grimaced, winking at Stiles. Stiles slapped him on the back and cursed at him. But Scott knew they would get engaged. Stiles has had this biggest crush on her since 3rd grade, and never got the courage to actually speak to her until senior year of high school. Let's just say after that, there was a lot of Lydia around here - and sex. Horny, assholes.

"Got it. God, I'm so nervous. My stomach is going crazy," Stiles said his hands shaking off the anxiety he is having.

"It is not cancer," Scott said rolling his eyes.

"Who said cancer?" Stiles said scowling at him.

"Stiles, we have been best friends for years. I knew you were about to say that," he said smirking.

"Well- It could be cancer! I've got all these symptoms, I have been peeing like crazy, and my mouth is dry. She is gonna say no!" Stiles said walking across the room his hands in his air, obviously worried.

"All right, come here. Bring it in." Scott said, giving Stiles a hug.

"Scott, thank you for this. You're the best," Stiles said smiling, looking down.

"Dude, do I have to remind you? It's you and Lydia! I have been there for all the big moments. 3rd grade when you met, first date, sadly other first things. Still fucking surprised you lost your virginity first." Scott said chuckling while shaking his head.

"Sorry, we thought you were asleep," Stiles said shrugging.

"It's physics, Stiles. It was in college if the bottom bunk moves the top bunk moves too. But that was nine years ago, the nightmares have finally stopped. Thank god."

"So, while I am proposing to the love of my life - what the hell are you gonna do tonight?" Stiles said questioning his best friend.

Scott thought and froze while looking at his best friend.

= BACK IN 2020 =

"Now while my best friend was actually doing something with his life, me? I called your Uncle Isaac. Let's just say back then, he did things that would get him on the naughty list," Scott said smirking.

"Dad - we are not kids," Amelia said chuckling at him.

"Yeah, okay now is this the part where you meet mom?" Weston says looking at him anxiously wanting to go.

"Nice try, not even close," Scott says resuming back to the story.

= BACK IN 2005 =

"Hey, do you know I have always had a thing for half-Asian girls?" Isaac said pouring something into his glass while fixing his tie.

"Well, I have a new favorite: Lebanese girls. They're the new half - Asians." Isaac continued while Scott didn't really care.

The thing about Isaac was he wore suits all the time.

"Listen to me, asshole. Stiles is getting engaged tonight - hopefully. You wanna-" Scott says before Isaac interrupted him.

"Meet me at the bar in fifteen! And suit up!" Isaac exclaimed getting up, and walking at the door.

"Suit up?" Scott says confused, but he didn't get a response since Isaac already walked out the door.

-

So their Scott was, desperate to do something with his life. His best friend is getting married, and there he is all alone, still getting calls from his family asking him how his wife is doing. Oh and, what he forget to mention was he had a pretend wife, so his relatives wouldn't always call him and smack him, saying do something with his god damn life.

So, Scott arrives at the usual bar where all his friends changed out, and spies Isaac at the booth, and goes near him. Isaac looked at him up and down and huffed annoyance.

"Where is your suit? We said to suit up! I show up looking awesome, as ever. And you show up in your damn pajamas? Fine, I am superman, you're Clark Kent." Isaac said rolling his eyes, drinking down the shot of tequila he just ordered.

"Wait, but doesn't Clark Kent always wear a suit? And doesn't superman, kind wear pajamas?" Scott said correcting his idiotic soon to be drunk friend.

"Ooh, Kate check out those two guys over at the bar arguing about Superman. God that gets me hot!" Isaac said imitating a female's voice.

"Come on Scott, pull yourself together," Isaac said glaring at his friend while smacking the table.

"You know what's weird Isaac? I just spent all day planning this amazing romantic marriage proposal, and it is for someone else." Scott said looking down.

"Oh, I see. Stiles gets engaged, and all of a sudden your ovaries are shrinking. Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met? We were sitting over there.." Isaac said pointing to the table in the corner.

"Well, Isaac. I'm not thinking about it. Just cause my best friend is getting married doesn't mean I have too." Scott said remembering the conversation they had - in the urinal. It was Isaac's three lessons on how to live. One: for him to lose the goatee, he had back in 2001. Two: for him to never wear jeans to a strip club. And lesson three: to never think about getting married until he was 30.

"Dude, I am heartbroken. I thought we were best friends," Isaac said placing a hand over his heart pretending to be hurt.

"You are my best friend Isaac," Scott babbled exaggerating.

"Great! Then as your best friend, I suggest we play a game of 'Have you met Scott?'" Isaac says smirking looking at the women near him.

"What no!" Scott said but it was too late, there Isaac was tapping on the shoulder of women. She had short blonde hair, and when she turned around she had these amazing blue eyes.

"Have you met Scott?" Isaac said, smiling. He walked away, then gave his best friend a thumbs up, while sitting at another booth.

"Hi, I'm Scott."

"Ria."

"That's a pretty name," Scott says smiling at her.

"It's Lebanese," She said smiling back.

Scott knew, that Isaac was right from time to time.

= BACK AT SCOTT & STILES' APARTMENT =

Stiles paces around the room, quickly to wait for Lydia to arrive. She opens the door and sees Stiles in the kitchen.

"I have had a long, and rough day - my eyes could be deceiving me but it almost looks like your cooking?" She said smiling, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Strangely, I am. You have been working all day, you know kindergartners and all." Stiles said returning the smile.

"Oh, you're the best. It was finger-painting today. Anyway, I am gonna take a shower I will be back." She said kissing him on the lips.

"Well, fuck." Stiles said looking at the recipe, his anxiety levels were high. He is praying tonight, that Lydia will say yes.

= BACK AT THE BAR =

"Here's how it breaks down: I'm 27 now. I'll make partner at my architecture firm by 30, so that's when I'll start looking. It'll take two years to meet her, that's 32. We date for a year, and at 33, I propose. Then you need a year to book a room and a decent band. That puts me married at 34. So, yeah, marriage is the furthest thing from my mind right now," Scott said annoying Ria with his marriage problems.

"Hm, really? Because that is all you talked about." Ria said giggling at him.

"That's not true. Didn't I mention I am a successful architect?" Scott says with his head high.

"Yes, but I don't think you can design your life, have you even started planning kids?" Ria says giggling once again.

"Yep! Two boys." He said proudly.

= BACK AT 2020 =

"Rude," Amelia says rolling her eyes.

"Honey, we were glad to have you," Scott said while Weston is laughing in the background.

= BACK AT SCOTT AND STILES' APARTMENT =

Stiles leans back on the kitchen counter while looking at Lydia cook. Stiles almost burned down the house accidently, so Lydia took the direction of the cooking.

"Isn't this great? Cooking together, as a couple." Stiles said with his cheeks growing red, as Lydia shot him a look.

"Oh! Almost forgot," Stiles said, holding the champagne.

"Honey, champagne that is so sweet!" Lydia said pecking his cheek. Stiles holds out the bottle in front of her and gives her puppy dog eyes.

"Hell no, you're opening the bottle for yourself," Lydia said rolling her eyes.

"Pst, I am not scared," Stiles said trying to be tough.

"Okay, maybe I am.," Stiles said looking down giggling.

"Asshole, Stilinski you are," Lydia said turning around.

This was a perfect time, Stiles thought. He got the ring out of his pocket and went on his knee to wait for Lydia to turn around.

"Lydia Martin. I have known you since the third grade. We have been dating for 7 years now, and I love you so much. I love when you wake up in the morning, your kisses, everything about you. So will you do the honors of marrying me?" Stiles said biting his lip holding out the ring.

"Yes!" Lydia said jumping on top of him kissing his lips, and hugging him as tight as she can. Marriage was one of her dreams in life, and to be married to someone she loves, now that she deserves a gold star.

=BACK AT THE BAR=

"So uh, wanna go out sometime?" Scott says smoothly while drinking.

"Sorry. The bartender is my boyfriend. Plus I thought you were gay." Ria says smiling at him. Scott cursed at himself and went to Isaac.

"She thought you were gay?" He said when he saw Scott's expression on his face.

"Should have worn the suit," Isaac says ordering another drink while Scott rolls his eyes.

= BACK AT SCOTT AND STILES' APARTMENT =

Lydia and Stiles, get up from the kitchen floor with messy hair, and a smile on both of their faces.

"Shit, I promised Scott we wouldn't do that," Stiles said mischievously.

"You're a dork." Lydia said kissing him on the lips.

"Yeah, but I am your dork." Stiles said resting on Lydia's chest.

"Round 2?" Lydia asked.

"Round 2." He repeated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all know that this is based on the tv show "how i met your mother" k? k. !! :D

AT THE BAR

"What were you thinking?! Hitting on the bartender's girlfriend?" Isaac exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air.

"I bet Stiles and Lydia will start having kids soon," Scott pondered lost in his own thoughts. Ariel and Eric, those would be cute names he thought.

"Oh God, we're back on this topic again," Isaac murmured shaking his head, asking the bartender for another drink.

"I always figured our kids would play together. But now Stiles' is pulling ahead. My kids will be playing Candyland while Stiles junior's out on the porch sneaking cigarettes," Scott continued thinking about the future.

"Don't get married! It's that simply," Isaac chirped smiling at Scott.

"He's found the love of his life, even if I was ready it's like, okay I'm ready! Where is she?" Scott babbled.

He pretended to look around, then saw something that stopped him cold.

IN 2020

"And there she was." Scott breathed smiling at his kids.

"Hallelujah, we are finished with this story!" Amelia clapped getting up.

"Yeah, no," Scott smirked while she sat back down.

"But, it was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, and he turns to his body and says, 'see that girl? I'm gonna marry her one day.'" Scott babbled talking about the girl he saw.

"I still wonder how you even ended up with mom," Amelia murmured, obviously not liking his dad's cheesiness.

AT THE BAR

"We're gonna play a game," Isaac murmured pushing Scott near the girl.

"Isaac don-" Scott said before getting interrupted.

"Have you met Scott?" Isaac smiled, walking away leaving Scott alone with the mystery girl.

"Oh uh, hi I'm Scott," he blurted pulling out his hand.

"So I hear, I'm Allison," she smiled shaking his hand back.

They continued to talk, about both of their jobs. Of course, Scott rambled about Stiles and Lydia getting married while Allison talked about her job.

"I'm still new, so I don't have the opportunity to cover the big stories. I always get the stupid pieces at the end, you know, the monkey who can play the ukulele," she babbled blushing.

"A monkey can play the ukulele! That's amazing! First they figure out the ukulele, then computers, then well shit. The planet of the apes, great Allison you have destroyed the whole world," Scott sarcastically said smiling at her.

"Pretty soon the Statue of Liberty's half buried on some beach, and people are saying, 'Why didn't we see this coming?!' Why? Because you didn't watch the stupid fluff piece at the end of the news," Scott continued on making Allison laugh. He looked over at the other booth in the back and saw some people glare at him.

"Your friends, are looking at me like I am some murder," Scott chuckled.

"That's cause I am talking to a Daniel," Allison chirped.

"Actually, I am Scott. You sure, Daniel isn't Isaac? The guy in the suit back there?" Scott said pointing to Isaac who was flirting with another girl - probably she was Lebanese, looking at her closely. Allison examined him then shook her head.

"See the one in the middle? She just got dumped by this ass, Daniel. So tonight, everyone is Daniel. Welcome to the club," Allison explained.

"You know what would make this cliche? You throwing water on me. I would allow it, however, for a price," Scott smirked, twiddling his fingers.

"Depends on what it is," she smiled back.

"Dinner with me Saturday night?" He jested, smiling.

"Well, I can't. We're going to Bermuda for a week, call me if I don't come back. Literally, that place seems scary," Allison rambled. Her friend called her, and she was about to go back to her until Scott grabbed her arm.

"Fuck it, me and you. Tomorrow night?" He exclaimed, hoping she would say yes.

"What the hell," Allison replied back, writing her number down then throwing her drink in his face.

"Jerk!" she cursed, smiling at him then going to her friends.

IN 2020

"So the next night, I took her out to dinner. Remember Weston, that place where you smoked your first cigarette? Remember to tell me to never to let you near Uncle Stiles again," Scott grimaced while Weston groaned at him.

DATE NIGHT

The date was going smoothly for Scott, she actually showed up. Now that was a first.

"That is a badass blue french horn," Allison spat out, looking at the french horn on top of the fireplace.

"I came here once with my friend Isaac, and he said something about that horn. Let's just say, I couldn't enjoy my meal," Scott laughed remembering the last time he was here.

"What did he say?" Allison curiously asked.

"He said it's probably what a smurf penis would look like," Scott said bursting out its laughter.

IN 2020

"Son, a piece of advice. When you go on a first date with a girl, you don't want to say 'smurf penis.' Girls don't ordinarily like that," Scott said looking at his son.

"But this was no ordinary girl," he continued.

BACK AT THE DATE

"That's one lucky smurf," Allison giggled. Scott stared at her like she was his everything. She actually didn't take a joke so seriously and found it funny. He stared at her until he realized he would have weirded her out. So he called the waiter, for them to order the food.

IN SCOTT AND STILES' APARTMENT

"What kind of wedding cake would you prefer: red velvet or chocolate?" Lydia questioned looking at her computer, writing down things.

"Chocolate, definitely," Stiles answered back looking at his phone.

"Red velvet it is!" Lydia exclaimed, pecking Stiles on the cheek.

"Awh, Lyds. You know it's my favorite," Stiles pouted.

"Yeah, but it is not mine. You can pick the candy, though, for our candy bar!" She said happily while giving him a hug,

"And, how are we gonna get the money for that," he questioned rubbing her back smoothly.

"I don't know Stiles, we always make it work. Don't we?" she answered him back smiling, kissing him on the lips.

"Lydia Stilinski, now that sounds fucking amazing," Stiles whispered in her ear, making her gasp slightly. He moved her laptop on the ground and sat Lydia up on the couch.

He made her face him, and he started kissing her neck, making her gasp slightly as his teeth grazed over her sensitive skin, she tugged at his hair slightly. Lydia felt Stiles cup her cheeks and collided their lips together. His hands moved up and down her waist, before letting her legs go around his waist. He held her up and took them to the bedroom. He laid Lydia down, kissing her neck gently once again, then tugged her shirt up. She moaned, as he dragged his lips along the top of her breasts. She helped him with his shirt and moved her lips back to his, as they fell back on the bed.

"Stop teasing Stilinski, and fuck me already," Lydia moaned, as Stiles started taking off his pants.

BACK AT THE BAR

Scott entered the bar, as he just finished his date with Allison. When we went in, he saw Lydia and Stiles with messed up hair and Isaac in a suit.

"I swear to fucking god, did you have sex on the kitchen floor?" Scott questioned them.

"Well, if you are counting today then no. But we're engaged!" Stiles said, hugging Scott.

"Ugh marriage," Isaac groaned looking at his phone.

"Mom, Dad, I have met the future Mrs.McCall. She's perfect Stiles," Scott said letting go of Stiles' hug, and remembering their date.

"Okay, does she love dogs? Drink scotch? And most importantly, make obscure lines from Ghostbusters?" Stiles seriously said, staring at his best friend.

"Yes! Most importantly, she hates olive! The olive theory, Stiles!" Scott exclaimed.

"What the hell is the olive theory?" Isaac yawned, looking at the two idiots before him.

"People either love olives or they hate them, right? Very few undecideds out there, however. Here is the spooky thing though I have observed: in every great relationship, there's an olive lover and an olive hater. It's like the perfect match!" Scott responded smiling.

"Aw yeah!" Lydia smiled at him.

"When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing!" Stiles sang, however, stopped when Scott glared at him.

"Okay, something is wrong. It's only 10:45 and you don't look sexually healed. What the fuck did you do wrong? I swear to god did you mention the smurf penis?" Lydia groaned holding her head in frustration.

"Well, I had the whole thing planned. Dinner, a romantic walk back to her apartment, you know to set up the goodnight kiss," Scott reasoned.

"Did you kiss her?" Lydia nagged at him.

"Nah," he responded.

"Why?" Isaac said suddenly interested in this conversation.

"There was a news crew, a guy's gonna jump off a bridge... Look, this girl could actually be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be amazing," Scott sweetly said to his friends.

"Aw! That's adorable. So you chickened out," Lydia teased him, smirking slightly.

"I didn't chicken out! Kissing a girl for the time is delicate and soft. Plus, I didn't get the signal," Scott pondered.

"There's a signal?" Isaac said his eyes gawking out at them.

"Yes, dumbass. Anyway, it's like this exciting radiation she gives off. And if you don't feel it, you don't kiss her. You wouldn't understand, you basically get laid 24/7," Scott pointed out, his eyes looking at Isaac.

"Yeah, no doubt you chickened out," Isaac chimed in, smiling at Scott.

"Fuck, I should have kissed her, well maybe next time" Scott mumbled looking down.

"Bermuda? Yeah, she's gonna hook up in Bermuda. You're never gonna see her again. So I suggest we play a little game I call-" Isaac chirped before getting interrupted by Stiles.

"Hey look, is that her?" Stiles said pointing at the tv.

"I am gonna go kiss her goodnight, right now," Scott said before getting his jacket and walking out of the bar.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find chapters 2-4 on my wattpad http://w.tt/26i4eFq   
> :DD
> 
> remember to comment, and leave kudos !  
> xx, hanna.


End file.
